I am so gripped by the full terror of what my life has asked of me, I can scarcely move. I shout “My God! Take this cup from me!”, but there is silence. My shouts are lost in the desert. I cry but there is no surcease. Death awaits and he will have his day.
There is no help for me on this Earth. There is only Time and Pain and Suffering and only in death will I see rest. My comfort comes not now, attached to this old, familiar body. Comfort comes only when I am separated from this dust, am returned to the dirt and ash and stars from whence I came.
My God! Oh, my God! Why have you forsaken me? Not this day, I am not strong. I am weak. I am tired. I do not know what to do. I cry out for a hand to hold, for an arm to lean on.
I must let go. I must let go. I must let go.
Let go of all that has come before. Let go of what is to be. There is now and my feet must not falter.
I must stay this road. I must stay this road. I must stay this road.
All my days here will be not a moment in what comes after. All my troubles will be done. I will lay my worries down. I fear no evil. Thou art with me. I do not walk but run. I am not tired or weary but am lifted up on wings of eagles, all the days of my life. Selah!
September 6, 2013 at 7:29 pm
That is awesome, Kelly, and I mean that in the older sense of the word, “inspiring great admiration.” It’s beautiful and frightening.
September 6, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Thank you. It came this afternoon, all at one time. I edited one clause and changed spacing before I hit publish. Writing is weird.