A few weeks ago, I told my therapist I had been thinking about it and I’d finally decided the Age of Enlightenment battle over the Nature of Man. It is good. Man’s nature is essentially good, I said. She seemed surprised a bit, I do say fuck an awful lot and I have been pretty angry lately, and asked how I had come to that conclusion. I decided humans are basically good because there are thousands of people in the world just like me, people with diseases they know are going to kill them, thousands of us, and we could do, essentially, anything we wanted. Standard operating rules no longer apply. We could all get together and burn everything down and no one would much blame us and if they did, it wouldn’t matter because we would be dead before too long. But we don’t. We don’t burn it all down. I don’t.
Love wins. When nothing is fair and everything is shit and the grocery store is out of Arnold Palmer Zero and there is no sour cream for my frozen burrito and I’m never going to be cancer-free, love wins. When a madman slaughters children, there are people who run toward the sound of the killing, there are people who throw their bodies in front of bullets. When a beautiful day is ruined by anonymous mass violence, there are people who run toward the smoke and the fire. Things like this spreadsheet happen. Love wins.
I spent Easter Sunday morning dealing with a virus that made me question my reason for living. I spent six hours violently spewing fluid. When the sun rose, I finally gave in and called my doctor’s office for a prescription. And then I called my mother. I woke her from sleep and asked if she would please pick up my prescription and maybe some Jello and ginger ale. She didn’t ask any questions, she didn’t complain. She did it. She delivered my things and then spent the rest of the morning cleaning puke and feces off the floor and walls. Love wins. Love will always win.
We come from love, we live in love and we return to love. Love is its own reason for being. On days like today, when it is difficult to believe humans have any good purpose, remember love. One love, from all, to all, for all.